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We are quite familiar with
terms like physical and sexual abuse but we
hardly give thought to another very serious
issue of emotional abuse. This explains why
issues related to emotional abuse are very
poorly reported. While the suffering from
physical abuse is painful it may heal with
medication, but the suffering in the latter
cases, is slow and spreads over weeks, months
and even years.
A few factors that constitute emotional abuse of
children in some form or the other are:
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Rejecting:
Refusing to help a child or to
acknowledge his/her requests for
assistance.
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Degrading:
Labeling a child as inferior, worthless
or unlovable, teasing, constant
belittlement, and public humiliation.
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Terrorizing:
Threatening to harm the child, to leave
home or leave the child unattended.
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Isolating:
Not allowing the child to mix with other
children or adults; locking the child
alone in the room for several hours.
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Corrupting:
Teaching hatred by reinforcing acts that
degrade others, teaching anti-social
behaviour. |
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Exploiting:
Keeping the child at home to act as a
servant or as parent.
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Denying:
Not meeting a child's emotional needs
like physical affection, praise and
encouragement; denying a child's need
for education.
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Here are some of the
consequences of emotional abuse:
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Habit disorders
such as thumb-sucking, biting, enuresis.
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Conduct disorders
including withdrawal and anti-social
behaviour such as cruelty and stealing.
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Neurotic traits
like sleep disorders and inhibition of
play. |
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Psychoneurotic
reactions including hysteria phobias and
hypochondria.
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Behavioural
extremes like very demanding or
undemanding.
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Overly adaptive
behaviour, either inappropriately adult
- parenting other children, or
inappropriately infantile, e.g.,
thumb-sucking.
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Lags in emotional
and intellectual development.
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Attempts to commit
suicide. |
Schools play an important
role in protecting children from emotional
abuse. The best person to identify instances of
child abuse is the teacher. However, to be able
to elicit appropriate responses from the parents
and draw conclusions, a teacher requires
professional training. Teachers can refer to
cases of child abuse can be referred for
counseling. In addition, she should try to be a
friend, confidante and a surrogate parent for
the students.
Here are a few tips to help children who face
emotional and behavioural problems:
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Give them physical
care, protection, affection and
approval. |
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Engage children in
activities which they will be able to
do. |
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Extend support
when there is a problem.
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Negotiate a few
rules with them and stick to those.
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Be calm and
consistent.
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Remember that
rewards work better than punishments.
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Teach skills
necessary to make them independent.
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Tell them that
failing is not a 'dangerous' incident.
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Make the child
responsible for the actions.
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Self-esteem is
essential for psychological survival. It
is an emotional sine qua non, without
which life can be immensely painful.
Give the child his/her self-worth.
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Open House can be Fun
Open house is a great
opportunity for the teachers to meet and greet
the student's family. Students are often very
excited about this event, as they love to show
off their work, let their families see where
they sit, and explain some of the activities
they do throughout the day. However, they may be
worried if the open house is scheduled after the
tests to discuss their progress. For teachers,
encountering all those parents seems to be an
exhausting process.
Here are some tips:
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See that parents
don't get lined up in front of you for
hours!!!! Keep the answers brief and to
the point. If parents press you to
answer specific questions, ask them to
set up a meeting with you on another day
where you will be free to answer all
their questions. Write down the
appointment in your calendar to show
that you are serious about meeting them.
Impress upon them that you don't feel
comfortable discussing the child in
front of the other parents.
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Don't sit behind
your desk! This may seem tempting with
all those answer papers sitting there,
but you want to make a great impression
on your parents so that they will work
with you in the future!
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Have the students
act as guides for their parents! Use a
couple of days to prepare. Display
students' work on the walls, put student
projects & papers on their desks for
easy viewing.
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Make your talk fun
& interesting. Have something positive
to talk to the parents about their
child. Parents have worked all day too.
The last thing they want is to face a
teacher with an attitude!! Remember,
parents and teachers are co-partners in
the process of educating the child.
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Parents seem to
have an uncanny way of asking the same
questions. Plan and have some handouts
ready for the parents along the similar
lines as the FAQ's!! This may save you
some time and energy.
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