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Dating Strategies 101:
Playing Hard to Get
Like preferences in food, drinks, clothing,
music and just about everything else,
preferences in relationship style vary widely
from person to person and couple to couple.
While some like a casual, non-exclusive
relationship from time to time, others may
thrive only in a secure, committed relationship
environment. Emotional “baggage” from previous
romances and our individual personalities shape
our dating preferences throughout our lives, and
often the direction the relationship takes is
dependent on one’s significant other as well.
In any dating situation, no matter how old or
new, playing a little bit hard to get can
often increase the excitement and the level
of desire in a relationship. Before you put
your strategy into action, though, you must
learn the proper balance involved. It is very
important to gauge your partner’s level of
interest so you don’t push him or her away. Read
on for some tips in entry-level playing hard to
get!
When testing the dating pool waters to see if
any fish are worth reeling in, one must remember
that the chase itself is nearly as important as
the end result. Rushing into things sometimes
puts on too much pressure, even in the perfect
relationship. Taking too much of a nonchalant,
lackadaisical attitude toward the relationship
can also cause irreparable damage, making your
mate to feel devalued and less important than he
or she truly is.
In budding relationships, sometimes taking a
little time to get to know each other is the
perfect transition into an exclusive
partnership. While mothers and friends may urge
you to “play the field,” you may not immediately
see the value in their words. Consider this – if
you take your time getting into a new
relationship and take good care to be certain it
is the best one for you, that is so much better
than rushing into the first relationship that
comes along without a second thought. If you
think you might benefit from dragging out your
singledom just a teeny bit longer, do what you
can to keep your new flame interested and hungry
for more! Sometimes just an ounce of resistance
initially is ultimately worth a pound of
perfection.
The key to playing hard to get is simple. Give
your new love interest enough to keep him or her
wanting more, but always preserve a little
mystery about you. Express your interest in your
new guy or doll, but be careful not to throw
yourself at him or her. Make time to see each
other, but not every day. Make plans to get
together, but let some time lapse from your last
date to the actual planning of your next one.
Finally, don’t let yourself be too available.
Nothing is wrong with answering the phone on the
first ring, but don’t sit around waiting for it.
Go to yoga class, bake some cookies, shoot some
hoops with friends, catch a flick, visit a
relative or just plain get out of the house and
do something. If you are eating dinner, watching
a movie or television program or in the shower,
let your voicemail pick up the message. By
filling your schedule with things you would like
to do anyway and making time for your new
squeeze, you let your new love know that he or
she is to you, but that you have a life outside
of your romantic endeavors. This is so important
later down the line.
The same also applies to committed
relationships. Perhaps you’ve been dating for a
number of years, and while your relationships
isn’t by any means stale, it may not be quite as
exciting as it once was. One simple remedy is to
play hard to get – even though your mate’s
already got you! Make plans with your friends
for a night out that doesn’t involve anyone’s
dates. Plan a girls’ night out to dinner or the
movies. Plan a guys’ night out to an exciting
sporting event or concert. Remember that time
apart from your honey doesn’t mean you love each
other any less.
That little bit of added space between you every
now and again only helps in intensifying the
other’s desire for you. Does absence really make
the heart grow fonder? Let me ask you this. If
you snuggle up with your loved one every
evening, and then all of a sudden you are going
to sleep in a cold bed alone, will you miss him
or her? No doubt about it. So when you delve
into a new relationship or as you seek a way to
revive your current one, get a little devious, a
little sexy and play a little bit hard to get.
You and your partner might just benefit from a
little game of cat and mouse!
By Kathryn M. D'Imperio
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Romance |
