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 1. Try this great
warm-up
The precoital massage: As a warmup to the
main event, start by massaging the length of her
legs, from her upper thighs down to her ankles.
Then focus on the feet, kneading her heels and
all other points beneath. Then zero in on the
toes and stretch them individually. Of course,
if her impeccable hygiene encourages you to suck
her toes, you'll have her in ecstasy.
2. Ask what turns her
on
Come right out and ask what she likes during
sex. "Most women appreciate men who want to make
sure they're satisfied," says Barbara Bartlik,
M.D., a professor of psychiatry at Cornell
University. "If she notices you're working hard
to please her, she'll be more likely to return
the favor." And tell us: Is there a better place
to develop your work ethic?
3. Boost your foreplay quotient
Improve the quality of foreplay and she'll
never again bug you about the quantity. "If you
act as if you're just going through the motions
to get to the sex, she's going to notice, and it
will take longer for her to get excited," says
Michael Perry, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Encino,
California. So do what you want to do. If you
like how her calves feel, stroke them. If you
like her butt, kiss it. "When a man is loving
what he's doing, it's going to show through and
turn her on, too," says Perry.
4. Go easy
Yes, the clitoris is the obvious place to
focus your attention. Still, many men do wrong
by it. "Direct stimulation of the clitoris can
actually be painful," says Cathy Winks, author
of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot.
"It's much better to rub the clitoral hood
[where the tops of the labia meet] or to rub
along the side of the clitoris than it is to go
straight for the head of it." When playing with
the clitoris during oral sex, Birch's advice is
to "focus on the clitoris, then don't focus on
the clitoris. The clitoris reacts best to being
teased, so you want to lick it and suck on it a
little, build a little tension, then back off on
it a bit before going at it again."
5. Drive her wild with the 'figure 8'
technique
The figure-8 tongue technique: When you're
at her service down below, work the
supersensitive area around her clitoris in a
figure-8 pattern. Arouse her with gentle sucking
until the little button swells, then carefully
expose the area with your fingers. Use the
slippery underside of your tongue to circle it
to the left and then to the right. With the
rougher top side of the tongue, flick from right
to left and then up and down. Finally work up to
figure 8s, alternating between your tongue's
smooth underside and firmer tip. Constantly vary
the degrees of pressure you use.
6. Expand your repertoire
Expand your repertoire of oral sex with this
method: You lie perpendicular to her body, which
allows you to stroke her clitoris with your
tongue in a crosswise motion, rather than up and
down. She'll appreciate the change in
stimulation -- hopefully, enough to return the
reward.
7. A Body Part You
Shouldn't Neglect
Oft overlooked as mere roadblocks to the
vagina, the labia are packed with nerve endings
and are not to be ignored. Hold each one between
your thumb and forefinger and massage it,
working your way up and down. Or, using all of
your fingers and your palm, "smoosh" the labia
together, almost like you're (gently!) kneading
dough.
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