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 Everyone wants sex, but no
one's talking dirty. Dig deep into the sexual
psyches of thousands of men and women around the
country, as we did, and this little irony stands
out. Lack of communication -- not lack of
interest -- is the top bedroom complaint for
men. For women, it ranks second, just behind
too-short foreplay.
That's why we brought both sides to the table
for a sex summit (hoping, of course, that it'd
end with both sides on the table). With the help
of Cosmopolitan magazine, we asked 6,000 men and
women to tell us everything -- what they like,
what they hate, what they've done, what they're
dying to try. The results were as surprising --
men and women want sex equally often -- as they
were enticing: Most women want to experiment and
are just waiting for you to ask.
But our survey results are more than just a
collection of dirty secrets. Combined with tips
from our experts, they're an instruction manual
for giving her what she wants, every time, while
at the same time indulging your inner
freakiness. See, it's a win-win. Let the
dialogue begin.
Turn Her On Instantly
"Women want sex just as much as -- if not
more than -- men do," says Emily Nagoski,
Ph.D.(c), a sex researcher at Indiana
University. "But women often feel shy about
making the first move." Too shy, say the 66
percent of men who wish women would initiate
more often. How to bring her out of her sexual
shell? Coax her. Tempt her. Tease her as if she
were a cat chasing a feather on a string, advise
our experts. Give her a deep, sigh-inducing kiss
-- then stop. Or pull her close, press tight
against her thigh, then move away. "You're
letting her know you're open to her advance but
making her bring it to the next level of
intimacy," says Amy Levine, a New York
City–based sexuality educator. Once she's
comfortable making the moves, she'll be more
likely to pounce when the urge strikes.
Stoke the Home Fires
Unleash your inner Emeril and you'll nail
the top two mood-boosters for women. "When you
cook for somebody, it says, 'You're worth my
time,' and that's the biggest turn-on of all,"
says Martha Hopkins, author of Intercourses: An
Aphrodisiac Cookbook. Our advice: Whip up an
easy appetizer, not a five-course meal. A simple
asparagus-and-prosciutto dish -- sauté the
stalks in olive oil for 3 minutes, wrap with
prosciutto, sprinkle on goat cheese and pine
nuts -- is packed with zinc, a key mineral
needed for maintaining erections. Follow with a
chocolate dessert and you'll load up on
phenylethylamine, a neurotransmitter that
activates the brain's pleasure center, and
caffeine, which can jolt sex drive.
Dance Her Pants Off
Home cooking not cutting it? "Take her
ironic dancing," suggests Nicole Beland, the
Men's Health Girl Next Door. Go somewhere
ridiculous: senior night at a ballroom-dancing
club; line dancing, if you both hate country
music; a '70s disco joint; an '80s club playing
a sickening mix of Dee-Lite, Salt-N-Pepa, and
George Michael. "Dancing really well at any of
these places would actually be more embarrassing
than if you just did the robot," says Beland.
"The two of you will goof around, make fun of
everyone else, and end up having an amazing
time."
She's a serious dancer? Make merengue your
mission. "It's the easiest Latin dance to learn,
and it's sensual and energetic," says Yuri
Datsyk, owner of the Midtown Fred Astaire Dance
Studio, in New York City. J.Lo didn't marry Marc
Anthony for his looks, after all.
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