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Take Her Home Tonight
"She probably won't be shocked if you
suggest she come back to your place after a
first date," says Beland. But will she say yes?
Make this your litmus test.
1. Graze her thigh. As you flirt, stand or sit
within 6 inches of her. If she seems unruffled,
move closer. Eventually you want your thigh to
be pressed against hers, whether you're standing
or sitting. If she's into it, move on to step
two, says Beland. If she squirms, back off.
2. Plant one, already. A make-out session is a
prerequisite to a sexual proposition, says Beland. Pay attention to how intensely she's
kissing back. You want the "I want to eat you
alive, starting with your head" kind of kiss,
not the sweet little "I'm not really a dirty
girl" kind of kiss.
3. Pop the question. Your approach can be either
funny ("So, what do you say we go back to my
place for milkshakes and Jenga?"); hesitant and
humble ("I don't even know how to ask you this,
but I would really love to be alone with you");
or straightforward and sweet ("Please, God, tell
me that we can go home together"). Dial back the
sleaze factor and, "chances are, if she's been
shoving her tongue down your throat, any one of
them could probably end up working," says Beland.
Follow Her Lead
Foreplay can be a fact-finding mission, not
just a necessary evil. Syncing the way you
communicate in bed -- verbally and nonverbally
-- will rev her engines more quickly, says Brian
Mustanski, Ph.D., an assistant professor of
psychiatry at the University of Illinois at
Chicago. He suggests a technique called "sensate
focus": "During foreplay, agree that the
genitals are off limits. Touch the other parts
of her body, using fingers, a feather, a silk
scarf, or anything that turns her on, and ask
her to describe how it feels," he says. Watch
and listen for nonverbal clues, too -- moans,
thrusts, gasps. Work her hot spots properly and
she'll be begging to move to the main event, in
which you'll watch for those same signals. The
better you're able to read her, the more likely
you'll reach a happy ending.
Score before Breakfast
The hard sell seldom works. Here's how to
heat her up before your waffle pops.
1. Wake up earlier. "A woman won't want sex if
she feels hurried," says Nagoski. "Her clitoris
won't respond to even the most skilled touch if
she's worried about being late for work. And
besides, she needs about 20 minutes to reach
orgasm, anyway." Set the alarm early or, better
yet, make your move on the weekend to ensure
that she's relaxed and responsive.
2. Whisper, don't poke. Women need aural
stimulation to help kill self-consciousness
about eye boogers and bed head, says Nagoski. So
pull her close and say, "You're so beautiful in
the morning," or, "I love waking up with you."
If you're spooning, thaw her out with some
sensual kisses to the back of her neck.
3. Bring her some OJ. Juice masks morning
breath, and "the citrus will jumpstart her
arousal system," says Alan Hirsch, M.D.,
director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and
Research Foundation, in Chicago. Bonus: Vitamin
C boosts your adrenaline, giving you extra
stamina. She'll appreciate that.
Find Your Rhythm
Don't sell yourself short. "Every guy I've
ever, um, known has confessed that he didn't
think his penis size was anything to write home
about," says Beland. "But they were all
perfectly well hung." Make the most of what you
have by using powerful, deep thrusts at a
slow-to-medium pace. "It can be wonderfully
intense. Pistonlike porno thrusting feels
horrible. It can leave a girl dry, sore, and
bored," she says. Add side-to-side movement, or
up-and-down pelvic pressure against her clitoris
when you're all the way inside, to vary the
stimulation.
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