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 I
teach sex to college students. The course, Human
Sexuality, covers everything from hormones to
hairstyles -- but my students usually want to
skip straight to the final exam: the female
orgasm. Women want to have them, men want to
deliver them, and the gap between the two sexes
is never more evident than on the first day of
class, when 150 students pile into a lecture
hall alive with sexual tension.
"I should be able to tell if a woman is faking
it, right?" ask the timid guys.
"Why does it take me so long to orgasm?" ask the
frustrated girls.
It's at this point that the men start looking
confused and a little somber. If women are
flummoxed by their orgasms, they're thinking,
what hope do we have?
Lots, it turns out. Sure, the female orgasm is
among the most fickle of human behaviors. But by
the end of a semester, most guys and girls have
learned enough to study it in the wild. You can,
too, because I've boiled down a semester's worth
of learning into 10 simple starter tips. So sit
down, listen up, and whip out your pencil. Class
is in session.
TAKE HER OFF THE CLOCK
Just as you're concerned about lasting
longer, many women are so self-conscious about
taking too long that they end up faking orgasm
or deciding to go without. The solution? Stop
obsessing over orgasms -- yours and hers. A
recent brain-imaging study by Swedish
researchers shows that relaxation is the single
most important factor in bringing a woman to
orgasm. So tell her she has all night. The
better you convey not just tolerance for a
lengthy buildup, but also appreciation of her
sexual pleasure -- orgasm or not -- the easier
it will be for her to unwind and explode. Oh,
and studies show that it takes 15 to 40 minutes
for the average woman to reach orgasm. Going
somewhere?
TURN HER ON WITH YOUR TALENT
The best sex starts long before the clothes
come off. Talent -- more than rugged good looks
or a chiseled midsection -- is a powerful
aphrodisiac, according to research by my
colleagues at The Kinsey Institute. (Less
surprisingly, poor hygiene and a messy home are
among women's biggest turnoffs.) So nail
"Paradise City" during karaoke. Or make her die
laughing at your self-deprecating display of
atrocious dartsmanship. Yes, humor is a talent,
too.
Go on the next page and
learn the key strokes...
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